FMyLife is a website that is entirely dedicated to the best jokes about life in general. Real people, like me and you, visit it every day to share their life experiences of all kinds. Some are so strange and bizarre that they are almost unbelievable. Here are the top 10 FML’s of the day, just for you.
Since when has that been there?
Today, I thought something was wrong with my car battery because my dashboard lights were really low. I paid $77 to find out the dimmer switch was turned down. FML
You never know
Today, I’m on a long car trip with a friend who makes fun of my pee breaks every 45 minutes. “Well, are you incontinent? You should wear diapers, otherwise, we’ll never reach our destination!” What she doesn’t know: I have bladder issues, and even if I try not to use them, I do wear diapers. FML
Today, I found out that if my husband and I move to another country to live, then his mom and sister will live with us too. I’m already living with them because of societal traditions. I like them and everything, but I really need some privacy. FML
Not for me
Today, I told my husband I might want a baby, so he took me to visit his best friend who has a toddler and we stayed for an hour. I no longer want a baby. I want the pill wrapped in 2 condoms and a joint vasectomy/hysterectomy paid for with my non-baby disposable income, and my husband now has a shit-eating grin. FML
Today, I had to do my laundry. Being too lazy to separate them into different colors, or even check the pockets of my jeans, I threw everything I own into one load. Turns out I had left a tin of lip balm in one of my pockets. My whole wardrobe is now covered in spots that won’t come out. FML
Today, my mom made me shovel our long driveway, as it had just snowed a couple of inches. It took me two and half hours to finish. She came out and said, “Wow, is this really the best you can do?” FML
Today, my alcoholic dad finally came to see to my last dance recital after years of never showing up to watch me. He got kicked out of the audience for snoring too loud. I could hear him from the stage. FML
With friends like these…
Today, I checked my bank account online and noticed two checks that I didn’t write had gone through, so I got copies of them and recognized the handwriting. It was my best friend’s. FML
Today, I took an exam, for which I have been studying for weeks, I was confident at first, but then really struggled with it. I finished with about ten minutes to spare, turned to what I thought would be the end of my paper and found the first page of questions I was supposed to have answered. FML
Today, I woke up to a text from my girlfriend telling me to call when I wake up. Turns out she had one of her friends over who tested positive for Covid and I was just at her house, so now I’m forced to quarantine. FML